But how can someone who loves me treat me so cruelly? I know it sounds strange but it’s because She cares for me, understands my needs, understands my desires, that She treats me this way. It is through Her chastisements, Her discipline, Her control, that I can fully realise my need to surrender myself to Her will. When a parent scolds a child does that parent love the child less? And when the punishment is done, is not the reconciliation sweeter? It is by serving Her, by subjecting myself to Her will, by losing myself in Her, that I have found greater peace, deeper joy, and higher bliss than I would ever known without Her.So, why am I here? The long answer is, as the old hymn says, I once was lost but now I’m found. Let me explain.My parents were strict, and I mean strict, fundamentalist Christians and my father had very firm ideas about what was a sin and what happened to those who transgressed. I grew up fearing both God and my father who, when he felt that I was naughty, saw it as. “We can leave as soon as you get your things together.”, she shouted up the stairs. I was dressed, packed and ready to go in less than 10 minutes. As I carried my gear downstairs I saw that my step-mom had already packed her things and had them sitting by the door. We loaded them into the car and off we went.Being that we live so far north and it was the middle of November, it was blistering cold outside. Not quite freezing, but still in the low 40s. It’d be colder in the mountains but perfect camping weather.After a three hour drive, we got to the spot where we always park our car. We got out, gathered our equipment and had a quick bite to eat, before we started the five hour hike to where we do our camping. It’s a long hike but the view of the peaceful lake and beautiful surrounding mountain wilderness is its own reward. My stepmother may be 36 but she’s in good shape and can carry her own share of the gear. We’d packed pretty light, just a small tent, sleeping rolls, cooking.
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