When I had thought I was in love, and he was in love with me. A time when I was excited about my new career, and we talked about settling down, buying a house and having children. The pictures ended far before the relationship did, before the reality hit home and my career turned out to be a dead-end road to nowhere, just like my barren womb.What could I offer to a man, really? Alan obviously didn't think I could offer much, so he found his own way without me. And I was left here, at a dead end road, with no map to continue on. I wanted so desperately to be filled by something, a sense of purpose, a cock, even the impossible. I settled for cheap alternatives, and retired to my room with my largest dildo, to fuck myself into harsh oblivion for the second night in a row.I masturbated for a long time, having small, yet ever-building orgasms. Eventually, my fantasies drifted again to the man from the restaurant. I imagined the dildo was his cock filling my cunt, moving slowly in and out,. She had been busy. The table was set and she was already dressed for the day. I walked up and gave her a kiss on the top of the head and she gave me a plate with breakfast on it. We both sat down and began to eat, not saying anything. Finally, I broke the silence and asked about her day. She looked at me and giggled. We laughed at that for a few minutes before I told her that I was going to call Ell-tee and ask him about this problem. It had to be taken care of before it got out of control and someone got seriously hurt or killed. She got up and pushed herself onto my lap and hugged me. This was a strong woman to put up with this shit and not pack her bags and head for the hills.After a quick shower and shave, I called Ell-tee and told him what had been happening since I left the teams. He listened intently and then told me that it sounded a lot like what the VA was now calling PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I told him that didn't sound like what I had or was experiencing..
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