The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.I sometimes worry about the way you think!The guys at the golf course asked meto name an actress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.I told them the one who knows how to fix elevators.I'm old, I'm tired, and I have to pee a lot.What A Brilliant DefinitionFound at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence Missouri, copies of four telegrams between then-President Harry Truman and Gen Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WW2 Surrender Agreement in September 1945. The contents of these four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war -- not a word has been added or deleted!(1) Tokyo, Japan0800-September 1,1945To: President Harry S TrumanFrom: General D A MacArthurTomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?(2) Washington, D C1300-September 1, 1945To: D A. She says I’m getting her even more excited than she already is and needs to go release some tension.When I get home, I begin to get ready for the evening ahead. I take a nice hot shower to relax myself from the tension June has built up inside of me. When I get out of the shower, I grab my phone and take a picture of my naked body in the steam-covered full-length mirror. The picture shows just enough of my body so that my love will have to use his imagination and memories to fill in the blanks.I send the picture with the caption, "I will be waiting for you outside your office just like this."My love sends back, "You are killing me."The limo I have hired picks me up. I’m wearing a trench coat and red 4" heels. When we pull up to his office building my Love is just walking out. I open the door and open my coat as I start to get out of the car; he rushes over looking around and pushes me back inside. He can't believe that I was about to get out of the limo in just my new lacy lingerie.
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