My roommate, @DrakeSteele just told me that he realized he’s not only atheist, he’s sacrilegious, he only yells “Oh, My God” when performing certain rituals in the sack. (Alternatively, when someone is playing with his sac)Many thanks to oriontwin for this submission!Once upon a time there was a majestic mountain forest. In this forest reigned two princely trees; a grand Beech tree and a grand Birch tree. They grew a little too close to each other and ... well, they weren’t the best of friends. They got along well ... okay, let’s just be happy that they at least weren’t dropping branches on each other.So, all was (relatively) peaceful in the forest until one summer they noticed that between them was growing a young sapling. This would never do ... they had a reputation to uphold you see.Thus the argument started. The Beech tree insisted that the sapling was a Son of a Birch, while the Birch tree said it was a Son of a Beech. On the argument went.During one day while the argument. It had its advantages, we could use the cafeteria, the gym and all the equipment. However, much of the school was off limits to the kids. It was just too difficult to keep track of over 100 kids with 8 counselors. She saw me, gave a smile, then took off running. Shit. Im fairly athletic, but so was she. Id be hard pressed to chase her down. I rounded a corner to find her halfway down the hall laughing. I did have one advantage, I noticed, I had sneakers on, her, flip-flops. Finally, after the next turn, she stopped in front of a door that said Custodians Only. I wonder whats in it, she said. Dont you dare, youre in enough trouble as it is. She gave a fake pouty face. You know, I used to think you were cute, but now youre just being annoying. Besides, what are you going to do? She blew me a kiss, smacked her ass and walked in. I quickly followed her, thinking it might lead to the basement or something. It was your standard janitors closet, about the size of a small half bathroom full.
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