Finally, I was no longer a virgin. Unfortunately, that was the only sex I had in college.I had been out of college for over a year, but still could not get laid and I no longer thought about crossdressing. I would go to the adult bookstore near where I lived and buy porn magazines occasionally. So sex to me was looking at porn mags and jerking off to pictures of other people having sex. I would shoot my hot cum load all over the pages. It did not take long for all the pages f the magazine to be stuck together from my dried cum since I was jerking off 5-6 times per day. I soon got enough nerve to call one of the sex lines advertised in the porn magazines and this was pretty hot at first, but after several months this was costing me a fortune. One day I was buying another magazine and saw a free newspaper on the way out, so I grabbed a copy. When I got out to the car I started to flip through the pages. In the back were classified ads for escorts. To be honest, I did not know what an. . Not this. I want to have a family, a life, do something with myself and be a man. Not a gay."Me: "So yesterday was your last day as gay?" - I asked ironically. Samer: "I was never gay, I just fucked."Me: "OK, I hope you realize it is time for you to pick up your stuff and move to your future wife, baby machine, passport printer, whatever you want to call her. I wish you a happy life, whatever you consider happiness." - I got really nervous and started to tear up. Samer: "Happy... I can't be happy and get what I need. Whatever. I will go."As he said that, I just left the apartment. I couldn't watch him picking his stuff up, packing the bag and leaving. Not after everything we've been through. And for a woman, for a passport, for a c***d. I love him with all my heart, but I hate him with my entire soul right now. I couldn't breathe, an anxiety attack hit me hard. I was losing the only man who ever really understood me. It's a cultural thing, it's a religion thing. I cannot beat it. I.
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