I burned the image into my brain with repeated trips from my head to my toes, then slowly closed my eyes. My body's inner core trembled and shivered as I realized the truth; I was a woman.Kim helped me dress and did my hair, which was long enough for a ponytail. She applied at little bit of blusher to my cheeks, commenting that I looked pale, and finished by putting some pale pink lipstick on me. It felt funny, like I had oil on my lips, but I didn't say anything. Kim told me she'd be right back and left my room.I fidgeted for a minute or two, unable to sit still. I wished for a cigarette, anything to occupy my hands, and then the door opened.My ex-wife, Emily, peeked around the door frame and warily said, "Chuck?"My daughter Amber slid around my ex and said, "Daddy?"I smiled and said, "Hi. Yeah, it's me." My voice had lost the raspy tone, and sounded about an octave or two higher than before.Emily stepped into my room and assumed her stance of authority. Glaring at me, she declared,. ” I answered. She was right. She was still sleeping in the same bed as we had bought her when she was about five years old. The mattress wasn’t high quality, and the springs had taken their toll. In fact, I felt somewhat ashamed of the shabbiness of it all. “I’ll buy you a new bed as soon as possible.” I continued, “But for now you’ll have to put up with it.” Sandy knew that on my tight budget it was likely to take few months before I could afford to buy a new bed, making it clear to me that she wasn’t willing to wait that long. She looked at me, pouting. “But Daddy, it’s OK if I sleep next to you.” She said, “Now that Mommy’s gone, there’s plenty of room.” Again, I didn’t want to go into my deviant thoughts about the matter. I figured that if I won the next contract I could afford a new bed for her, and in the meantime I would just have to put up with her sleeping beside me, hoping that we wouldn’t get into a mess, or worse, that I would wake up holding her again. I had.
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