. but I've got an appendage I wish I didn't have. Picking up thepanties I slip them on. Making sure I tuck my appendage to ensure I havea female looking front. I follow up by putting on the panty brief. Ilike what I see, I slip the stockings on, gently rolling them up my hairfree legs relishing in their silky smoothness against my legs. I put thebra on, it has padded cups but to enhance my faux bust I roll my socksup and put them in the bra cups. The slip and skirt fit me as if theywere my own. I finally put the pullover on. Catching sight of myself Ifight back a smile as a young girl smiles back. Slipping the shoes on Istand up smoothing the skirt as I do so. Taking a few tentative steps inthe heels I move closer to the mirror.I wish I knew how to apply makeup. I suppose that's the next step. Butlooking at my reflection in the mirror I now know that the real me islooking back. The girl inside is finally out. I take another look at thegirl that is me in the mirror. And I'm wishing. She won't be spending the summer with us this year."The rest of my visit with the Morrisons had passed in a blur. I raked dead leaves from between the rosebushes and spread fresh mulch for about an hour but my heart wasn't in it and it showed. I missed a lot of leaves and the mulch was unevenly spread, with high piles in some areas and barren patches in others. I was running on autopilot and didn't notice what an awful job I was doing until Mrs. M took pity on me and told me to call it a day around 2:30. She handed me a five dollar bill and asked if I could come back the next day to help clean the gutters. I refused the money."Hang on to that," I told her. "I'll earn it tomorrow." That got me a smile."I'm sure you will, dear."That evening I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, my mood swinging from despair and anger to defiance and glimmering hope– Despair at having my plans for a wonderful summer snatched away; anger at my inability to snatch them back; defiance with my remaining.
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