”That simple apology stopped Abby in her tracks. The confusion on her face was palpable as she considered my words. If she hadn’t answered so quickly, I would have started apologizing all over again ... but she did ... speak, that is. What she said captured my attention.“Mark ... you saved me this afternoon. I knew I was going to die out there. Between the cold and no money, it was going to be a contest between exposure and starvation, to see which one would kill me.“ ... but then you got bumped in the head by that bus and I recognized you from school. I never imagined someone just scooping me off that awful street and taking me in. It hadn’t occurred to me that someone like you even existed.“Never, ever apologize ... Mark... “You saved me ... Thank you ... for saving me ... Thank you ... for cleaning me up even though I was disgusting. You didn’t reject me even when you saw how dirty I was ... Mark, you didn’t get disgusted and throw me back out in the weather.“How could I ever be. I let out a soft “huh” sort of laugh, realizing I felt good about this. All the guilt I had felt about the girls doing things they shouldn’t ... That was because the fucking bible told me they shouldn’t. That gnawing hollow feeling had been all about corrupting the innocent and making them miserable. And I had a right to feel guilty about causing that, but...I felt sex wasn’t a sin by itself. Sex without love, without tenderness, to take pleasure from someone for just the pleasure itself, that was a sin. But I had been so focused on what people had taught me that I had ignored the magic, the life the need had inspired in those girls. They were so disappointed afterward when the need no longer excited them. The magic was gone.I vowed I would never let myself be told what was right and wrong without feeling it in my heart too. That’s where the truth was. If there was a God, I felt that’s where he would put it.I picked up the two neckless and put them both on. I was tempted to put the.
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