“Were there thirteen or fifteen players in the team, boy?”Rather than go into a long-winded explanation of the weather conditions prevalent at the mouth of the River Tees in winter I quickly picked a number. “Err — thirteen, sir.”The games master’s face paled with shock, inadvertently I had chosen the number of players in a Rugby League team. He reached into his desk drawer and withdrew a bell, which he hung about my neck to warn the rest of the school I was unclean.Okay, so I’m exaggerating and no bell was produced, but I was banned from playing Rugby Union in case I contaminated the other pupils with rugbyleagueitis. So instead of taking part in bloody and bruising games of ‘rugger’ I went cross-country running with the other freaks, misfits and weirdos in the school — who weren’t as daft as they appeared.Fortunately, after six months in York my family moved again. I will not bore you with the reasons for our frequent moonlight flits.Our next abode was in a small village in the. Hell, we could exhaust this supply in as few as 500 years. Of course, that estimate assumes an increase in usage of about 10 percent per year over that period...”Brad had been listening thoughtfully. Slowly shaking his head he finally said, “So you have essentially unlimited electric power, free.”“Not so!” Carol exclaimed. “Why, hell ... I’ll bet we must use at least $30 worth of lubricating oil every year keeping these generators humming, don’t we, sweetie?”“That’s about right, hon,” Bill replied.“William Christian!” Carol exclaimed as she glared at him and started tapping her foot on the floor.Bill thought back to what he had said that might have set off his wife. Then he grinned and said, “That’s about right, slut.”“That’s better,” she conceded, somewhat mollified. “Just remember, William Christian, I am not your honey and I sure as hell am not your wife. Right?”“You’re absolutely right, whore.”Brad and Kim just slowly shook their heads in amusement.After completing the tour of.
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