He had not moved a muscle since leaving hisseat.Jane quietly moved over to stand behind him. "I am sorryabout that, Michael. As badly as things have gone between us,I did not think you would believe me if I told you that." shepaused momentarily trying to gauge his response. "And . . Ihad hopes that talking to you might remind her that you areher son and that maybe you are more important to her thanhearing Luciano Pavarotti at the Vienna Opera."He gave a bark of humorless laughter followed by what mighthave been a sob before flinging himself back onto the bed,staring at the ceiling. "Why should she change now? She almostgot her fondest wish - no son. She hasn't been interested inme since my father died. It's as if she looks for reasons notto be with me."Stiffly, Jane returned to the chair, apparently uncertain whatto do next. Turning back to face his guardian, Michael notedher worried expression and smiled darkly at her before sayingsoftly. "I won't try to kill myself over. Icouldn’t live like this.I recalled Thanksgiving just last month. The kidsdidn’t want me to be alone, so I made the trip to bewith George Jr. and his family. My daughter Dorothycame with her family so we could enjoy Thanksgivingtogether. It wasn’t a happy occasion for me at all. Ididn’t feel thankful and I knew it built tension withthe kids. There they were with their families trying toenjoy the holidays. Of course they missed their motherbut as they said, “Life goes on, dad.”They invited me up for Christmas but I wasn’t going toruin that holiday for them also. They were able to geton with their lives. I was the lonely old guy that Ifelt was just in the way. I hoped they would understandwhat I was doing. I didn’t want to be alone anymore.I spent the last tree months getting my affairs inorder. I didn’t want to burden my kids with any undueexpenses. I had everything in order, insurances, taxes,wills. All I needed now was courage,.
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