It's bad enough normally, but it's hell at this time of year. You are constantly reminded of what you are missing out on. Christmas, it is said, is a time for giving; it is actually a time of realisation - a realisation of what you are missing, what you have lost and where you are heading. And I missed everyone, had lost everything and was heading nowhere.Do you know what it is like to talk to no one day in, day out? It's a nightmare, after a few days you start talking to yourself. Eventually you start going quietly mad, if you let it. To make matters worse, as soon as you become homeless, you become invisible. So no one talks to you and no one looks at you. You cease to exist. Christmas just makes it worse. But there is one good thing about Christmas. There are usually shelters set up for a few days where you can stay and get a good meal. I usually stick to soup; it's all I can manage these days. I sought one such shelter out and attempted to 'book' a place."We're not open until. ..?She turned to look at him. ?Don?t make me do this now, please. I want to wait when we are in a better place. I want... I want you to kiss me before I say it.??Are we breaking up?? he asked her flatly. The emotion in his heart caused his voice to break before he could get the whole thing out.?Oh God I hope not. I really do. Because if we are, then... well, There?ll be no hope for me,? Beth moaned. ?If the choice is mine, and it sounds like you think that it is, then I?ll never leave you,? he insisted.?We?ll see after I say what I have to tell you. I hope you?re right. But I just don?t know Randy.? Randy fed the fingers of his left hand into those of her right. He tightened his grip slightly but said nothing. Beth navigated the HOV for another half an hour and set the machine down in the old driveway of the lake house. There she sat for a moment, it seemed as if she were almost in shock, her hands folded in her lap. She stared out at the quiet serene peace of the lake through the.
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