By the time we are close to the patio I see that Mom has made and set out a pitcher of what looks like ice tea on the wrought iron table.As I am only steps from the patio, Mom says, “Oh, Michele. You look just beautiful out there. I remember you doing that in the yard when you were a little girl. Arms out, twirling yourself around until you couldn’t stand anymore and you would crash to the ground, laughing the whole time. Of course, you wore clothes back then …”“I feel wonderful. Being home, maybe. And, yes, I remember that, too. Maybe I am feeling like a little girl. You know, out playing with my dog, Mom watching from the house …”“Don’t push it, dear. That is not how you used to play with the dog.” We both laugh and I sit down at the table with Mom. Cody goes off and gets some water from his bowl and then finds a shady spot under a nearby tree. I am sitting at the patio table completely naked in the middle of the day with my Mom who is dressed and we both feel totally comfortable. Walter's relationship with Carla was different than mine had been with Audrey. He loved her, and she him, but they weren't good for each other. I think Carla had always known that, at some level, but I don't think Walter ever so much as thought about it.At the time that I broke it off with Audrey, it was because I didn't want to end up worse than Walter. I was twenty two years old now, and had practically stopped living any kind of life at sixteen, giving up a lifestyle that I really enjoyed, with nothing to fall back on. Did giving her up the way that I did, help Audrey? I had no way of knowing about now, but, during our last two years of high school, she had seemed just as much adrift as I was. She was more social, to be sure, but she wasn't any happier than I was. We had spent enough time together after the break up, that I was sure of that. I had a lot of thinking to do. I needed to get myself a job too.I got up from my bed and walked over and knocked on Walter's bedroom.
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