"I've discovered tumors. I'm sure they're cancerous." The unfortunate young man wept even harder and exposed his chest to the startled landlady."They look like breasts," Helen said finally after having a close look at the "tumors." Don't be ridiculous," Jack huffed. "I'm a man. Men don't have breasts. They're tumors." His outrage had at least stopped his crying. But Jack was wrong. They were indeed breasts. And what a pair of hooters they were! Any woman alive would have been proud to have possessed this perfect pair of tit flesh. But since Jack was a man and a not so proud possessor of these lovely jugs, they looked totally out of place."They're breasts," Helen maintained. "I don't know how but that's what they are." But what should I do?" Jack looked like he was about to cry again."I'd go shopping for a bra if I were you," said Helen."I can't go bra shopping. I can just imagine. 'Hello, miss. I'm here to try on bras.'" Jack shuddered with revulsion as he played out the scene in his. It morphed little by little. Through time, it found more names. Through time, it became more infamous. Nothing was the same after that.Through it all, I was thinking: 'What the hell? How did it get like this?'Without really thinking: 'How is this going to reflect on me?'I had some female friends I thought that were really cool, as well as attractive. Until this list came out. Some I really wanted to ask out and chickened out. Some I look at and say to myself: “You never had a chance…”Now, I have to say it’s kind of a blessing in disguise, because that’s the beauty of this event. I say “event”, because this surely is not a pageant. This is unique. This is basically asking, “Who is Wayside’s sexiest lady?” Scantily clad and nude fantasies will come true on this night. In addition to that, the ones who make it far… well, they’ll eventually find out why they’re so highly esteemed on “The List.”And the main perk of being a judge is: I already know the names of the participants. They.
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