Not only had he brought his most upbeat and almost childlike enthusiasm that Suzi and I both loved, but he also kept Suzi busy by sharing the things he and James had done telepathically.Joey was friendly and acted like nothing weird was going on between us, but I caught moments of pure jealousy coming from him whenever Eric included me in some part of the conversation he was having with Suzi or the twins. But Eric was the life of the party and I was in too good of a mood from the lesbian sex I had before I had left to let Joey’s issues get to me.When it was time to leave for the dance, everyone going did the picture thing in front of the restaurant before we all climbed into the large limo. Brad was taking Suzi, John and Joey were taking the twins, and I was taking Sheryl who had been picked up by the limo. Eric wasn’t going to the dance and was dropped off at his home by Suzi’s parents.While we had fun at the dance, I was back to feeling awkward around Suzi and now Joey. Joey was. Chipper, even. Me? Death. That's all I could think about. I'm seventeen years old, looking at the man I love, and thinking about death.I couldn't handle it. Could not handle it. And I did something that I'm not proud of. I bailed.I spent the first day and a half of The Program completely avoiding the guy who was supposed to be my Program partner-not to mention was supposed to be my boyfriend. I just went out of my way not to have any contact with him. He even called Monday night, and I made an excuse about homework.I had my reasons. No, what I was doing wasn't fair, wasn't right, wasn't generous or loving or all those things I had always supposed I was. It was rotten. But I had my reasons. And I just couldn't deal with it.Until I got called on it-by my best friend Amanda's boyfriend, Jared."How's Eric?" Jared asked."I don't know. We haven't really talked."Amanda, who knew my reasons, gave me a look of sympathy. But Jared-who didn't-was just dumbfounded."I thought you guys were going.
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